I have been so busy here lately, and by the time I get home, I don't feel like blogging.  Tonight I am making myself blog because it is so important for me to journal.  This week we lost our dear friend Eilena.  Remember me blogging about her passing out at church.  Well, she had been back to church and was even there week before last.  She must have gotten sick because she wasn't there last Sunday. She told her son ever since she had passed out at church, she hadn't been the same.  Her son was on a business trip but he told her when he got back, he would take her to the doctor.  She said she didn't want to go anywhere anymore.  Not even to the doctor.  (I think she was discouraged)  Her son told her as long as she had breath in her body, he would try to get her help.  Isn't that such a loving thing to say?!!  

Come to find out, she ended up in the hospital Tuesday.  Wednesday morning at 5:30, she passed away.  We are completely heartbroken!!  It was such a shock!  Her son said he really didn't know what happened, but her heartbeat got really low and then she passed away.  Even her nurse was shocked.  She was such a strong woman, I expected her to live to be 100.  God had a better plan.  She is happy with her husband Gene in heaven and we are dealing with an awful, heartbreaking loss.  

Tonight Kevin, Martha, and I had to sing at her funeral.  Jared had to play.  She always loved to hear Jared play and us sing.  It was the hardest funeral we have ever had to sing.  As soon as Martha and I saw her, we broke down.  I kept thinking this can't be right.  She looked as if she could speak to us.  She really looked wonderful.  So, so hard!!!  

Eilena was always such a strong woman.  She was at church faithfully--even when I would have stayed  home.  She was so talkative and lovable.  Her memory was better than mine.  Tonight one of the preachers was talking about how strong she was.  She told him she would mop her floors walking with her walker and pushing the mop along.  Her washer and dryer were downstairs.  She would put the dirty clothes in a pillow case and throw them down the steps and then go down and wash.  Different ones had offered to help her wash her clothes but she refused.  She talked about holding on to the porch railing and weeding her flowers.  She was so independent.  Ahhhh....I loved her so much!!!  I keep trying to tell myself that she is happy.  Having her here would make me happy, but *she* is much happier in paradise.  

Tomorrow the women of our church are cooking to serve the family after the burial.  I am going thru the motions, but it is really hard to accept that she isn't here.  She will be greatly missed.

 

 

This past week I took care of Mom Wednesday and Thursday.  On Thursdays we always wash her hair.  Believe me, it is not an easy task.  To get someone who has dementia to understand to lean their head under running water is no easy task.  By the time I am finished, my back is aching.  Mary had the great idea that we should start washing her hair at the kitchen sink and using the sprayer.  Their sprayer hardly works so it barely sprays water.  It worked like a charm.  It was the easiest I have ever washed her hair.  I am always struck by how beautiful her hair is when I dry it.

You can see she still has a lot of color and she will be 83 next weekend.  I am so thankful that thus far we girls has been able to take good care of her hair and not cut it.  We always keep it in a braid so it is out of her way.

Friday morning I planned to go spend the day with the grandbabies.  I slept a little longer because I got so freaked out about almost falling asleep at the wheel last time.  I also took a 12 hour decongestant to make me feel awake.  I made sure the car was cool and not cozy.  By the time I got there, my hands were cold because it was so cool in the car.  It helped that I talked to Martha on the phone the whole way.  It seemed like I was there in no time.

Nikki had made a beautiful wreath for their door.

I had so much fun putting together an Easter basket  Friday night for Haley and Mason.  

          

Haley loved her basket.  She loved Mason's stuff too. 

Do you know, the whole time I was there I didn't get a picture of Mason!  I am so mad at myself.  I was holding him a lot and it is hard to take a pic when I am holding him.  When I wasn't holding him, he was asleep or I was spending time with Haley.  He is such a darling though.  Now that Haley is older and can't be still enough to hold and snuggle, I get to hold and snuggle little Mason!!  He would just lean his head over on me and let me kiss his sweet face as much as I wanted.  How precious he is!!  

It seems like every time I see them they are growing and doing new cute things.  I found out that if a sneaky little girl hides behind Lucky the horse, I should be veeeerrrry suspicious.

And if I ask what she is doing and she peeks over the top and says "nophing"(nothing),  I should be very, very suspicious.

And if I see evidence of red candy on her mouth it might mean she has snuck a piece of candy from the candy bucket.

She is potty training now and doing great.  She is so independent she didn't want me to help her.  Nikki uses a little potty seat that fits over the regular seat so Haley can sit on it herself.  After she goes to the potty, she (sometimes) gets a lollipop.  She is loving the candy and that's why she decided to sneak a little.

We had so much fun hunting Easter eggs.

       

She would find all the eggs, then she would say, "you have to do it again."

       

       

Nikki had the idea for us to hide them in different rooms which was great.  It was funny tho, I hid a green one in the kitchen we couldn't find.  Then when I was putting away dishes, I found it in the oven drawer.  One time Nikki and Haley hid the eggs in the bedroom.  I was supposed to find them.  Haley came and got me when they were finished and took me right to them. hahaha!  So cute!!  

One time after she found all the eggs.  I had her stand still (a sec) so I could take a close up of her face.

If you look closely, you can see the small scar over her right eyebrow.  It looks so good, and I am so thankful.  Nikki is still putting stuff on it so it will disappear.

While I washed dishes, I put Haley in a chair beside me and let her play in the water.  I used to do this for Andrew when he was little.

I had to take off her shirt because it got wet.  She can't stand to wear anything that gets wet.  Nikki said I could let her paint too.

After I washed the dishes, I sat in the floor while she was painting and spun the top that I got Mason for his basket.  It lights up as it spins and he loved it.  His little fat legs would get stiff and he would grunt like it was sooo cool.  When it was time for Mason to go to bed, I got to give him his night bottle.  He snuggled in my arms and fell asleep.  Ahhhhhh so wonderful!!!

I watched Nikki give Haley a bath before bed too.  Nikki does so much better than I do.  Haley never fussed at all when Nikki poured the water over her head to rinse her hair.  Haley pitched at fit when I did it at my house?  Maybe she doesn't trust me not to get it in her eyes.  For Haley's Easter basket, I got a water gun.  When she was bathing, Nikki let her squirt us.  She thought it was so funny.  She was a surprisingly good shot. lol  She got me right in the face, and I was trying to shield myself.

After her bath, Nikki brushed her teeth, and then let her brush her teeth.

I had a wonderful day!!  I left around 9:30PM and pulled in my driveway right at 11PM.  On the way home I kept it cool in the car.  I don't usually have a problem at night tho.  Finally after a while I couldn't stand being so cold, so I turned on the heat.  I did fine being warm.  The only thing I didn't like was since it was the start of the weekend, there was a lot of traffic--no fun.  I am so thankful I made it safely home and had a fantastic day.

This is a sweet picture of Mason and Haley that Nikki sent me the other day.  I can't stand a post without a pic of little (big) Masey.

Oh I have to tell you something so funny Haley did.  Thursday was Nikki's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIKKI!!!!!!!)  Andrew sent Nikki beautiful pastel colored roses and Haley thought they were for her. Hahaha!  There was a little stuffed bear with them and Haley thought it was hers too.  Nikki said, "Daddy sent them for Mommy's birthday," and Haley said, " for my birthday??"  Hahahahaha it was so funny!  Nikki thought, whatever, she can share my birthay, so she said, "yes!"  That's a mommy's love for ya.  Haley got on the phone with me and said, "Daddy gave me a bear!"  Her voice was soooo excited.  She wanted to smell the roses too.  Aren't little ones just the best?!!

Ok, I am off to finish the kitchen and get to bed.  I have had a lazy day and even napped.  I have to take care of Mom the next two days.  Hope you all have a great Sunday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today I met Nikki at the doctor's office to have Haley's stitches removed.  I had prayed she would not be afraid and it would not hurt.  She did wonderful!  Praise God!!  I am so thankful.  She was so happy even before she went back to the room.  There was a little one year old boy in the waiting room.  Haley was so sweet to him.  She was just a little darling!  When they called her to the room, she held her mom's hand and waved bye to me.  I stayed in the waiting room with Mason.  I got lots and lots of hugs and kisses.  He is such a snuggly guy. I love him so much.  He also jumped and jumped and jumped on my lap because he is so used to jumping in his jumping johnny at home.  I got a lot of exercise just holding him. 

Haley came back smiling.  And, the place where she had stitches looked so good!  I wish I had gotten a picture before Nikki put the bandaid on, but I didn't.  Anyway, it is very tiny and a little pink.  I am so thankful!  

When we left the dr., it was raining cats and dogs!  Nikki had left her umbrella in the car.  The water was puddled in places because it was raining so hard.  We were standing on the porch talking about how bad it was when this lady with a huge umbrella got out of her car and brought us her umbrella.  It was the sweetest thing!!  Nikki was able to get the kids in the car without them getting wet.  The lady told us to just leave the umbrella in the corner of the porch, so we did.  We knocked on the window of the waiting room and told her thank you again.  It was an awesome act of kindness.

If you look to the right of the picture, you can see how the streets were flooded.

I went with Nikki to the store and sat in the car with the kids.  She ran in to get Mason a new bottle.  Haley sat on my lap and pretended to drive the car. 

I got a few hugs and kisses, but not as many as I got from Mason.  Mason will let me love him with all the snuggles and kisses I want.  Haley is too busy. lol  She gives me a hug and kiss, and then she is ready to be on with whatever she is doing.  :)

Of course we went to the ice cream shop.  Not only does Haley love it, Nikki and I love it too.  Nikki let Haley ride on her back while she filled Haley's tub with the treats she wanted.

I sat with Mason who was happy and content with his bottle.

He just looked everywhere--at the ceiling, etc.  He checked out the place.  Maybe this place is getting familiar to him. haha

Today Nikki put only toppings in Haley's tub because that is what she likes.  Then Haley shared chocolate ice cream with me.  Of course I ate most of it. "sigh"  Haley loves to eat the different toppings they have from cereal to chocolate malt balls to candy hearts.  

Haley and I fed chocolate ice cream to Mason too.  He loved it!  It was the cutest thing how he stuck out his tongue when he saw that spoon of chocolate ice cream.  I love that ice cream shop and today I noticed they were playing christian music.  It made me like it more.

Mason started getting sleepy.  He covers his eyes with his blanket to go to sleep.

How precious these babies are to me.  Nikki and I talked about how cute his little fat feet are.

I loved spending time with them today.  Thank God everything turned out wonderful!  

I couldn't pick up Ryan from school today because I was helping with the babies.  I was going to make him ride the bus, but since it was raining so hard, Jared took Ryan home.  First he went by and got a coffee for him, Martha and Ryan.  He is such a sweetheart!  I told Martha to tell him never to get Ryan a coffee unless I am there. 

Tonight I am so tired.  I don't know why??  I fell asleep for a while after supper and I still feel tired.  I even took a nap this morning.  Maybe I need some vitamins.  I am so happy I am off tomorrow.  I am hoping to get a lot of cleaning done on my house.  Hope you guys have a great day as well.

 

I love when I don't have to stay with Mom on Saturdays.  I cherish that time with my family!!  This Saturday was warm and beautiful.  I wanted to be outside as much as possible.  I told Ryan as long as I was outside, he had to be outside.  I didn't want him in front of the TV playing video games all day.

I worked all day painting on the back deck.  I am making a wall like I saw on pinterest.  I have all these ideas in my mind, but this is a start.

Our deck is going to have to have some boards replaced.  It isn't rotten, but the boards are worn since we haven't painted in a while.  Taking care of Mom has taken a lot of time, but I don't regret any of it!

Mark swept out the garage.

Ryan worked on the vehicles, and tried to get the tree down that had fallen during the snow.  

Part of it he couldn't get down and will have to wait till we can borrow Papaw's chain saw.

 

It felt so good to be in the warm sunshine, and I was so thankful to be with my family.  That evening I was tired but happy.  Martha called and said she and Jared were going for a coffee and wanted Ryan and me to go.  I said, no.  We had been working and would have to get ready.  Of course she talked me into it.  She can talk me into anything.  She told me Jared would be so disappointed if we didn't go so I had to.  I could never disappoint Jared.   We had a wonderful time!!  All we did was ride in the car to get a coffee and back.  We talked and laughed and it was so relaxing!!  I'm glad she talked me into going.

When I got back, I worked on the next day's Sunday School craft for my class.  I cut out a cross template, traced it on construction paper, cut it out and then cut out the center.  Then I glued wax paper to it.  (Today in Sunday School I brushed the wax paper with modge podge and we glued pastel colored tissue paper to it.  I glued a top cross on that I had made just like the bottom.  It made a stained glass looking cross to put in the window.  I meant to take a picture, but I didn't.  It was so cool.  Of course I found it on pinterest. )

After I finished as much as I could on the cross, I did a project I have been meaning to do for my house.  I am so bad about buying stuff for a craft project and putting it away.  Then I can't find where I put it.  I had found everything I needed but the paint.  When I was getting the modge podge out of the craft tote for Sunday School, I found the paint.  I couldn't wait to do the craft.  I painted a mirror frame Nana had given me a long time ago.  Then I put burlap over the mirror part and glued a monogram on top.  I love anything with a monogram.  

 

I had to sit it on a piece of paper because it was still wet.  I couldn't wait to see how it looked.  I have a picture of Mason to add to it too, but I don't have the frame yet.

I cleaned up all the mess for everything and washed the dishes.  I also washed and dried a load of towels.  I didn't get in bed till going on 1AM.  I was so tired, but it was a good kind of tired.  I slept wonderful.  

I got up this morning feeling good and even got to church on time (which is unusual for me).  I forgot it was St. Patrick's Day though.  Not that it mattered.  When I saw other people wearing green, I remembered.  I jokingly told my sister my underwear was green. hahaha  Did you all ever do that in school?  If someone tried to pinch us we would tell them our underwear was green cause of course, they couldn't see our underwear.  

Here is a picture of the sweetest little guy in his St. Patrick's Day outfit.

I would love to give him a million kisses on those chubby little cheeks and neck.  He is such a darling!!!  Hopefully, I will get to see him and Haley tomorrow.  They are supposed to come up to have Haley's stitches removed.  Please pray it doesn't hurt her when they take them out.

Thank God for all my blessings and hope you all have a blessed week!

 

This past weekend I achieved that and I wasn't even trying.  In fact, I was trying to be the opposite.  Nikki and the babies came up to spend the weekend and I kept the babies on Saturday while she went for a haircut.  The babies were so precious, and we really enjoyed them (as always).

These are all phone pics, so they are not good quality.  But still, isn't that just the sweetest little face?   Ahhhh, he tolerates lots of hugs and kisses.  Haley was a sweetheart too.  She loved teasing with Papaw.  I was telling Mark how she called me Soosin and we were laughing about it.  I told her Papaw's name was Mark so she called him that to tease him.  She would get so tickled when he would pretend to be upset. I loved hearing her laugh.  

I boiled eggs for her to color and Mason and I watched while she colored eggs.  She was so excited and happy.  It thrilled me to watch her.  Look at her mouth....

That was the first dip, and she loved it.  She had a blast!! (I did too)  

Notice the pj is unbuttoned.  It was buttoned when she came.  :)  

She was using the spoons at first, then I let her just use her hands.

She actually did a great job!

They both took a little nap.

               

 

Nikki came back later and picked up Mason.  Haley stayed night with us.  I don't know how well you can see the next picture, but she and Ryan watched children books being read on youtube.

She slept wonderful.  I didn't sleep much though.  I woke up in the middle of the night and barely slept after that.  It was wonderful for her to be beside me though.  I love her (and Mason) so much!

Sunday morning we went to Sunday School.  She got to be in my class with Bryson.  He just turned two and is a little darling.  He loves Haley.  After church, they were running around and playing at the altar in the sanctuary.  They started kinda chasing each other going down the side of the benches.  Haley was running back down the aisle and accidently ran into the corner of the last seat.  I was watching her and didn't know she was going to hit the seat.  It happened so fast.  She cried and I quickly picked her up.  She had cut her head and I immediately knew she needed stitches.   It didn't bleed much, but it was a deep hole.

If you look closely, you can see a deep triangle right above her eyebrow.  She only cried a little at the first.  I immediately put her in the car and went for Nikki.  I called Nikki  to let her know what happened.  Martha said I was so calm.  I think it helped me that it wasn't bleeding.  I knew we had to get her to the hospital for stitches.  Nikki freaked out when she saw it, as you can imagine.  I think I was going on adrenaline until today when it all hit me.  We all got in the car and I drove to the hospital.  Haley was calm and didn't cry at all.  Nikki was telling her we were going to the dr. and he would fix her boo boo.  Haley said she didn't want the dr. to see it.  Nikki told her we would get her ice cream.  I tell ya, we were ready to promise her the moon!

She was so sweet letting me take her picture in the waiting room.

See how calm she was.  She is a sweetheart!  I knew she would be getting hungry because it was lunch time.  She had had a snack of cheese puffs at church to tide her over.  Anyway, I said, "I will get you a happy meal."  She said, "no."  Nikki said, "are you wanting macaroni?" (she loves macaroni)  She said, "no."  Nikki said, "what do you want?"  She said, "I ceem" (ice cream) Hahahaha  She remembered what we had said in the car.

It was a horrible experience for her.  She fought them so badly they had to give her some happy juice.  Then they swaddled her in a sheet and wrapped a blanket over her and tucked it in the sides of the bed.  It was awful.  They were afraid they may poke her eye if they couldn't keep her still.  She ended up getting one stitch inside and three stitches outside.

It makes me tear up to see this picture.  Bless her little heart!

We then went straight to the ice cream shop!

She really didn't eat much.  Afterwards we stopped at Walgreens so Nikki could pick up some tylenol.  While Nikki was in the store, Haley fussed because she thought she was wet from her diaper leaking.  She does not like a wet diaper.  (She is using the potty now)  Anyway, I got her in the front seat with me to change her diaper.  I said, "when Mama comes back and you have to get in your seat you can't fuss.  No fussing!"  She looked at me serious and said, "I fuss at the doctor."  I said, "you diiiiid??"  She said, "yeah, I say wah wah."  Haha 

When we got back to Nikki's mom and dad's, they met us outside to see Haley.  Nikki's mom was holding Mason.  Haley was so excited to see Mason.  She was wiggling to get down so she could see him.  It was so very precious!!  Nikki said those babies love each other so much!!!

Today when I talked to Nikki she said Haley was fine.  She did not seemed to be bothered by the experience.  I am sure Nikki and I will never forget it.  Nikki had to be in the room and watch them hold her down.  I was in the waiting room.  I actually went back with them, but when the doctor came in, Haley started crying and saying she wanted Gramma.  There was no way I could stay and make things worse.  Thank God it wasn't worse.  Although it is very discouraging  it happened at all, I am very, very thankful it wasn't worse.  Nikki said it is just a tiny slit that will maybe disappear as she gets older or be very small.  I hope so.  

Tonight I am very down and discouraged about other things as well.  I am asking you all to pray.  I am not going to post what it is, but God knows all about it.

 

 

 

 

I took care of Granny yesterday.  She slept till 11:45AM yesterday morning. She slept soundly and hardly moved. She must have really needed it. When I got her up, she was very shaky and could hardly move her feet. It worried me. Then, she could hardly drink her juice. Three or four times she got choked.
She ate her meal fine but I saw her rubbing her head. I asked if her head hurt and she nodded. So I put acetaminofen in with her medicine. We always have her wash out her mouth after every meal. While she was washing out her mouth, she squinted her eyes closed the whole time. I would give her a drink. She would swish and then spit it out--the whole time with her eyes squinted close.
I said, "Mama, don't you feel good? Is your head hurting?" She said no this time. She said, "I'm Okay. I'm just....." So I knew there was something going on. I didn't know whether to walk her or not, but I did. We walked 10X@ the table slowly. We took lots of breaks to look out the window. At times she had such a pitiful look on her face like she didn't feel good?? is in pain?? The way she is, we have to search and guess what is wrong with her. Sooooo hard.
After we walked, I sat her in her rocker, and she slept and slept. She never, never does this. Even when we want her to sleep she doesn't sleep. She has not been sleeping much during the day, so I didn't know if she was catching up or if something else is going on. One thing I did know...she was not the same.

I pile pillows around her to keep her from sliding and to keep her book in place near where she can see it.  This pic is dark because of the window behind it, but if you look closely, you can see she is asleep.

Dad sits in his chair and reads a lot of the time.

Mom used to love to read, but she can't now.  It is so sad.

It is getting harder and harder to care for her and I dread it just about every time. I don't want to give up though. She deserves the best of everything. Martha writes things in the journal that wonderfully describse how I feel. She has a way with words. She says:

"Cleaned teeth and mouth and walked 10X@ table & stood @ window for while. She touches my heart so deeply! Such simple pleasures bring her so much joy! I was thinking this morning as I was kneeling & putting on her shoes, pull-up, etc, how in ways I'm serving Mom.....She deserves so much good! At least in my eyes!

And one time she wrote...

"I combed her hair thinking so many sad thoughts & praying & I just thought, "What could I do to be a blessing to Mama today?" So that is my prayer today--that I can do everything possible to be a blessing to her today. And of course, I pray for patience. I'll need it."

And...

"She has walked wonderfully today! Let's agree in prayer that she won't have any more infections! (UTI) It was 7:45PM when I got everything done, so we sat & looked @ pics the rest of the night. It has been a good day. Just very time consuming. Not had hardly any time to myself. One precious thing she did tonight: At night when I walk her I always say, "It's been a good day, hasn't it Mama?" I always say it. Even when it's been rough. Tonight, when I asked her, she said, "Un-huh! You and me!" How priceless! She is so precious & has loved on me today. Another sign she's feeling better."

When I read what Martha writes, it makes me want to do better taking care of Mom. Her words inspire me to not give up.

Dad woke Mom for supper and she was bright, perky, and felt so much better.  I guess she had gotten so behind on her sleep she couldn't stay awake.  She kept saying things were wonderful.  It was a relief she was ok and made me so happy!!  Dad bothers her a lot at night.  I don't think he realizes how much.  He is up and down and  I think he moves and bothers her.  Dad doesn't sleep good most of the time.  Thank God she was ok.  I was so worried she had had another stroke.

I am supposed to go back again tomorrow.  I dread it, as always.  It is hard this time because Ryan is very sick.  He even told me tonight he had trouble breathing.  He has asthma, but has not needed his puff in for.ev.er.  So, when he got his checkup and they gave me the prescription, I didn't turn it in. ugh!  I hope to get it tomorrow after I sit Mom in her chair in the afternoon.  It is safe to leave a while when she is in her chair because she can't get up, and Dad is there to watch her.  If we leave her on the couch resting, she can get up.  

And last but not least (y'all ever heard that sayin?)...  This is the pics Nikki sent me the last couple of days.  Mason on a quilt his great-great grandmother (my dad's mom) quilted.  How cool is that?!

 

 I love how he is holding his little feet!

And remember how I told you Haley has learned to button and unbutton her shirt......

Notice the temporary tatoos on her belly and notice her shoes.  When I was there the other day, she got a pair of Nikki's really high heels and tried to walk all over the place with them.  Ahhhh  I love these babies!

Hope you all have a blessed night tonight and day tomorrow!